Monday, March 3, 2014
A Bra Specialist can look at you and tell your bra size quite accurately BEFORE she even measures you. A shoe store associate can usually look at a foot and also pretty much accurately guess your size and foot width. And while we hate to hear this, an HR professional makes their final assessment within the first 10 minutes of the job interview.
A Life or Career Coach come into play when you want to manifest change in your life or career. It's hard for the Coach to do their job when they quickly realize that it's only YOU and your attitude standing in your way. The quote "Attitude Determines Altitude" has lasted this long for good reason!
The Top 10 Things Your Life/Career Coach is too Afraid to tell you:
(1) It's not your boss, it's YOU - How you react to your boss and his/her demands are going to determine how far you will go. I am not telling you to brown nose your way to the top, however I am telling you as a Career Coach, that this is the most vital relationship you have in your career arsenal. Remember, even leaving a job of your own accord will require a job reference. And in Life Coaching this applies to the relationship you feel most stuck in, the one you feel that is not moving forward but backwards. Be it your in-laws or that BFF you think you may be 'outgrowing'...
(2) You Must Pay Your Dues - You are not going to become CEO in a year. Don't be afraid to pay your dues.
(3) Procure a Mentor - You want to touch base with someone doing the job you want to have eventually. It's OK to go outside your organization to find that person. In fact, that is the better way to go, you want someone who you can be frank with and who can also feel free to be frank with you about their path to success.
(4) Relationships are a two way street - If your theme is constantly about how every relationship has wronged you, your coach may be too afraid to tell you that you are sabotaging your relationships by the way you react to things that are not to your liking.
(5) Presentation is half the battle won - It's not just the job interview where you should whip out your best suit, dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If the top salesperson calls in sick and a major account needs attention, who do you think the boss will ask to pinch hit? The person in jeans or the suit?
(6) Yes, Peer Socialization is necessary - Those myriad of after-work team-building events, do you really have to go? YES, you have to go. Your peers are in the trenches with you, and if you can all support each other, you all win.
(7) You get what you give - Selfishness will hold you back from the life you really want. Be it the green-eyed monster, or pushing your agenda to hold someone else back, you get in life exactly what you give. If you spend countless hours telling your life/career coach how selfish everyone is around you, they are going to easily spot that the selfish Sally in those relationships is really YOU.
(8) Stop making cross-lateral job transfers - Your job trajectory needs to go up, if you spend years just moving sideways it's going to be harder to go up the next time you make a job move. Aim to build a career with an upward trajectory. (Because dearies, only crabs walk sideways!)
(9) Don't let moss grow under your feet - If you can't find the job you want, keep searching and portion out a part of your week to volunteer. Volunteer work is just that WORK. It allows you to give back to your community in a relevant way and still build necessary job skills. The busier you are, the more attractive you are to a potential employer.
(10) Define Success Clearly - How do YOU Define Success? Don't tell your coach how your mother and father define success. Or how your spouse defines it. Or your siblings for that matter. Yes you need to make enough to cover your bills, but at the end of the day, amassing money and then having no time to enjoy it, is something I am sure we can both agree is fruitless. No Life/Career Coach can take your career or life to the next level until you know exactly what success looks like for you. Visualize it. Do you picture yourself in a garden with blooming flowers? With a smiling family? In an office at the top floor? Bring your Life or Career Coach a picture of how you define success, then and only then can they help you get there!
The only thing that tends to stand in the way of our own success, is US! We tend to be our own harshest crtics, we tend to think status quo is better than change and we get stuck in ruts that for the most part we create for ourselves.
Before reaching out to a Life or Career Coach, start by tapping into what success looks like for you, what position you want to be in and be sure you are ready to knock your life and career status quo on it's head. Change sometimes comes with sacrifice. A life/career coach is not your fairy godmother, they can't wave a wand over your head and put you straight into your dream life. Define Success for yourself and then once you have that vision, there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking the help of an expert to guide you on how to achieve it.
And lastly as someone who has been coaching for awhile now, my biggest tip is that a life/career coach is NOT your therapist, while it's super easy to get that confused, your therapist digs into your past, your life coach looks forward (not backward) into how the immediate can be re-shaped to look more like YOUR vision of true success.
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